Monthly Archives: January 2012
I’m going to make a guest list for my funeral, that way people I don’t want to show up can’t waltz in and pretend to have been my friend or some long lost family member. Normally, I don’t believe in the the velvet rope but I have to make an exception in this case. There are just some people you don’t want to give the satisfaction of seeing your corpse before they remove the bones so they can be bleached, dressed in a top hat and and posed at the entrance of your children’s daycare center.
And, since it is a well known fact that I’d like to be consumed at my wake or (at the very least) have my ashes smoked by my inner circle, there isn’t enough to go around for every random person that shows up. There might not be enough to go around anyway. Hoards of people you…
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